Getting my kids out the door and in the car on school mornings sometimes feels like tying a rope around two giant elephants and trying to drag them across a room.
Sometimes it feels like I am literally talking to a wall.
No response.
No movement.
Then you look at the clock and your anxiety goes up…
A meltdown occurs.
Cereal is spilled. My daughter wants to do her hair over. My son insists on taking off his shoes and fixing his socks because they “aren’t on right”…
Then I realize I am missing MY left sock…
Luckily, we have managed to minimize crazy mornings to just SOMETIMES. Because trust us, no matter how much you “perfect” your mornings stuff will happen…LIFE will happen. And that is ok. The goal is to make most school mornings nice and calm.
So how do you make school mornings easier?
The three main elements you need to incorporate every morning that will make school mornings easier are: building a routine, staying calm, and giving yourself and your kids enough TIME to prepare.
Let’s briefly get into why these three elements are so important and then we will get in to some tips to help get your kids out the door and on time without a fight!
Building a Routine
We have touched on the importance of routine for children.
Whether it be during bed time, or in the morning, kids react better when they know what to expect. They feel more in control and are less likely to be argumentative.
Try and build a morning routine in which the sequence of tasks are done in the same order so your kids know what to expect. Below in our tips you will see an example of our routine.
TIME
The reason fights and resistance will break out in the mornings between school aged kids and parents is because everyone is rushing.
How can you get your kids ready for school in the morning and on time?
Give them time!
Having an ample amount of time, more than you think you need, will give you time to let your kids lounge for a bit. It will also give them a little bit longer to get ready without you rushing them which brings up your anxiety levels, their anxiety levels, and leads to a rushed and hectic morning.
Staying Calm
Kids mirror our emotions.
Many times my son and daughter have asked me if I am upset or not feeling well, when I didn’t even think they could tell because I am trying to “be there” for them.
You set the motion for your kid’s day. You set their outlook on the day. If you are upset, rushing and shouting at them to get ready, they will do and feel the exact same leading to crazy mornings.
Now that we got our three fundamental elements, let’s get into specific tips to make your school mornings easier:
Wake up early
Wake up 20-30 minutes before your kids wake up.
Yes…we know, we want to grab every ounce of sleep we can get with work, errands, kids, and life! We are all exhausted, but if it means getting to bed 20-30 minutes earlier to wake up earlier do it.
This will give you time to get your mind right in the morning, be able to get situated, maybe drink a cup of coffee and just prepare for the day ahead (or the morning which can feel like a full day).
It will also give you time to do things like get a head start on breakfast or gathering supplies/last minute items you or your children might need for the day.
I honestly feel my school mornings with my kids goes so much smoother when I am up and about before them.
The times I get up when they get up I feel like I have no time to even realize I am awake.
Get them to bed early
If you have younger kids, remember that they need A LOT OF SLEEP. More than you think.
While most charts are just recommendations, we have found with our children these sleep recommendations are pretty accurate.
Many times when you see kids grumpy in the morning or refusing to get up, it’s because they are tired..not always because they are avoiding school.
Getting them to bed at reasonable times (definitely and well before 9pm for younger kids) is crucial to making sure they are able to wake up well rested and give you less of a pushback when its morning time.
For kids 5 and under, supplementing their sleep with naps is an important and underused tool to help their development.
Well rested kids are happy kids!
Prep what you can the night before.
Now this depends on your kids age.
We find we can do most things in the morning with younger kids (under 6).
But do what you can the night before.
For us, our kids dress themselves and fairly quickly so we simply have them pick out their clothes the night before.
We will prepare their book bags and lunches the night before as well and have an idea of what they will be having for breakfast.
Anything you can get ready the night before, do it so you don’t have to worry about it and rush around in the morning.
The next two tips are crucial to keeping your kids calm in the morning.
Wake them up with enough time
If you have taken the first tip and are waking up a bit earlier, make sure your kids are up a little earlier too.
We know, it sounds like it defeats the purpose of “your morning time” but we are talking about an extra 10 minutes here.
Especially for younger kids who take longer to do things or might out of the blue have a meltdown because there is condensation on the window and they can’t see the sun clearly.
Wake them up PEACEFULLY AND SLOWLY
This is an awesome tip for smoother mornings.
How you start your day with your kids, especially on school mornings, will dictate the rest of the morning.
The few (and blessed) times my kids don’t wake up running at 5:30am pretending they are fighting evil dragons, I follow the above tip of waking them up with enough time. Then everything I do their room to wake them up is deliberately slow and calm.
I slowly open up the curtains just enough to give them a little sunlight, signaling their sleeping brains it is time to wake up.
I let the light settle in their room and then after a few minutes, if they don’t start shuffling around on their own to wake up, i slowly and softly touch their shoulders and whisper to them a song or a nick name I might call them.
This might sound silly, overdone, or unnecessary but IT WORKS.
How awful do you feel waking up to that damn alarm?
Abruptly waking your kids up feel the same way to them!
Waking them up in this way, along with waking them up a little earlier so they have extra time to relax, will help keep your kids calm on school mornings!
Follow a routine
This is the routine we follow with our kids:
A few points on this routine that might raise some questions:
Watching TV before school?
YEP!
No, we aren’t doing geometry charts or studying maps or complicated learning blocks before school. Our kids have 6-8 hours ahead of learning. The morning is time for them to relax before school. If having breakfast with their favorite programing is something they want to do for TWENTY MINUTES, we let them.
We limit tv and electronics.
We might sometimes let them watch tv in the morning, but they don’t watch tv after school or on school nights.
We are cognizant of how much screen time our kids are getting and we make sure it doesn’t consume their everyday.
Our kids don’t walk out of the house with ipads and tablets, they don’t spend 4 hours a day in front of the tv, a little morning time tv will not hurt them.
If you can get by without watching tv in the morning, great!
Many times we will find another activity, but if it helps your younger kids get through the morning don’t beat yourself up over it and let them!
When you are deeply involved in your kid’s lives and they have activities, friends, and a life outside tv, letting them watch tv will not destroy them.
Stop trying to be a pinterest perfect parent!
Think back to your days as a child, do you really think tv “messed you up?”
Sometimes when we latch on to all the “research” in the world about being the PERFECT parents we end up burning out and become worst parents because we don’t give ourselves slack to breathe.
THEY WILL BE OK. YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PARENT.
Breakfast
Your kids need a nutritious breakfast. This has little wiggle room.
Unlike “not letting them watch tv in the morning” this is much more important.
Listen, we aren’t saying here and there they can’t have a quick, maybe not so nutritious breakfast, but for the most part energize your kids up for the day ahead.
Our simple go to is:
- Water always upon waking
- scrambled eggs first,
- bowl of low sugar, whole grain cereal, or pancake mix.
It’s quick, and gives them enough good carbs, proteins, and fats to power them through their day.
You don’t need to spend your time cutting up organic zucchini with freshly pressed milk from a grass fed cow made into holy yogurt or whatever…just stick to the quick basics like described above!
The Wake up time (the most important part)
How do you calm your kids in the morning?
The most important part to make your MORNINGS PEACEFUL and have calm kids in the morning IS YOUR DEMEANOR.
Even if you are in a rush, and they are dragging, getting anxious and upset will not help. Being calm does wonders for younger kids. When they not only see you calm, but feel you are calm, they will follow suit. Even if they have a meltdown, you are the rock. Hold steady so they can hold on to you.
In conclusion, to have easier school mornings the main three ingredients are: building a routine, staying calm so your kids will follow suit, and giving everyone enough time. And remember, not all mornings will be perfect. Parenting isn’t perfect. We just want to aim to make it as smooth as possible!