Now we have to first say, we are talking about younger kids here.
This article is intended for kids under 10, as after 10 kids start entering sensitive stages leading into their teens and it’s important they have their own space.
We are assuming this question comes from parents with younger kids, who either have to have them share a room due to space constraint, or wonder if their kids should share a room when they do have the space.
Is it a good idea to have kids share a room?
Yes. Sharing a room helps kids learn respect, boundaries, builds on the concept of teamwork, conflict resolution, and most importantly helps siblings build a strong bond based on those early childhood memories of being roommates.
We surveyed 100 parents with younger children to get their thoughts on kids sharing a room together.
The results are below:
As we see in the above poll, parents are split on this concept. Good thing we are here to help!
In this article we will touch on a few things:
- explain why we believe it benefits kids to share a room.
- answer some common questions regarding room sharing.
- play devil’s advocate and share the benefits of kids having their own room.
Why your kids should share a room
1. It builds a stronger bond as siblings
My sister and I often spend times talking about our childhoods.
Some of those childhood memories centers around our shared bedroom until we were both almost teens.
Without going into the embarrassing stories (like me being scared of the dark) we laugh and, until this day, talk about how awesome those childhood years were sharing a room together.
Gossiping about the school day when the lights went out, watching tv together after our mom told us lights out, trading posters and toys, throwing ice at people from our 2nd floor New York City Apartment bedroom window.
These early BONDS and early MEMORIES made us closer.
Even though we shared a room out of necessity and lack of space living in the city, we would not have had it any other way.
Our kids now share a room, and when we bring up the idea of splitting them up they are completely against it. They like sharing a room together. I mean, how can you not love that!
So the first and most important reason your kids should share a room when they are younger is it builds a stronger bond together as siblings.
2. It benefits them later in their adult life
Studies have polled adults who shared rooms as kids and found that only a very small percentage (in this case 9% ) of adults felt sharing a room as a kid had a negative effect on them later in life.
The overwhelming majority felt it helped them prepare for adult life by helping them learn the concept of sharing (universities, office spaces) and helping them have deeper and more meaningful ties to their families.
3. You can use the extra space in your home
While your kids are young, why not save a bedroom and use it for something you need or want?
Although we have enough space, we chose to use our extra rooms as a guest room and the other as a play room.
Maybe you want your own office space?
Maybe you can make it a play/art room for the kids?
Perhaps make it a small home gym so you can stay fit as a busy parent.
The options are endless. Sooner or later your kids will need the room but until then, get creative and use the extra space!
4. It is sometimes only in the interest of the parents to have them in separate rooms
A 2006 LA Times article touched on an interesting point. That is that if parents are able to provide enough space for their children, they prefer not to “double them up” in the same room. Not so much to give their children space, but because they feel better about themselves being “good providers”.
This way of thinking, at such an early age for young kids, only benefits the parents.
When we asked the same parents in our poll on why they would separate the kids, none out of the 30% who chose seperate rooms, really had a clear cut answer. Most of the parents had kids close in age, and their reasoning was simply “we have the bedrooms and space”.
So it seems a reason many parents have their kids get their own room is simply a
“logistical” choice, not one necessarily that will benefit the kids.
At what age should siblings stop sharing a room?
The recommended age at which siblings should stop sharing a room is 10 years old.
At 10 kids are in the midst of experiencing a myriad of physical, emotional and mental changes.
They are entering their “tween” years and transitioning from being younger kids to “adolescents”.
If they can have their own space, this is a good time to give it to them especially for siblings of the opposite gender.
While age 10 seems to be a common consensus, there really is no hard and fast rule. There is no real “legal” age limit for children sharing a room with their siblings in most situations.
For most private homes, and traditional family situations, there is no law stating children have to stop sharing a room at any age.
When we delve into foster care situations, daycares, custody disputes, then things change a bit, but even then the rules are not make or break.
Here is a good breakdown on the different scenarios, rules, and regulations when it comes to room sharing for children.
What are the benefits of a child having their own room?
Some of the benefits of children having their own room can include a stronger sense of responsibility, their own space to develop individually, privacy as they develop mentally and physically, and their own space to study or practice their hobbies and passions.
BUT
If you read the above benefits, this usually applies to older children.
We want to stress here, after the age of 10 or a bit before, children should have their own room, but at age 5 or 6? Why?
Besides teaching kids that their bodies belong to them and certain boundaries, what other privacy needs does a 3 or 4 year old have or need?
This is not to say that if a 3 or 4 year old ask for space or a moment, they are not allowed to have it, but I think most of us would agree that a 3 year old won’t consider having their 4 or year old brother or sister share a room with them as an “invasion of their privacy.”
Here are some plausible explanations for kids having their own room at a young age
Age Gap
If you had kids far apart, and one is in their teens while the other is 4. Then yes, it makes sense to have them have separate rooms. They are just in two completely different worlds.
One Child has a Special Need
If a child requires the extra space, due to a mental or physical need, this is a reason. Not only to help the child who needs the extra space, but their siblings as well.
Space/Family Dynamics
If a room is just too small to accommodate two kids, they should have their own room. Even when sharing a room, kids should have a comfortable bedroom with enough space to not feel constricted. Of course, this all depends on the ability of the family to provide the space.
Some would point to siblings fighting as a reason to have seperate rooms. However, in reality there are ways to settle siblings fighting and keeping them together will help them learn conflict resolution.
In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with younger kids sharing a room together provided it is a healthy, safe, and comfortable environment. There seems to be little reasoning as to separating younger kids in separate bedrooms besides the logical reasoning of simply “having the extra space.” This changes as kids get older, and then we see the benefits of kids having their own room.