We aren’t perfect parents.
I mean who is?
What is a good parent? What is good parenting?
Good parenting takes patience. It takes learned skills. It takes innovation, sacrifice and work.
There will always be different parenting styles, parenting tips, and methods that are meant to help guide us towards good parenting.
But, there are some hallmarks of good parenting that cannot be ignored. These hallmarks are seen in parents that strive to be the best they can be for their child. They are important to incorporate daily into our children’s life for their social, mental, and emotional well being.
Here are 10 Hallmarks of Good Parenting you can start incorporating in your parenthood journey:
1. Be there, really be there – be involved
Having kids is WORK.
Being a good parent is WORK.
Anyone can have a child and just be there for the special moments while just “getting through the day” every other day.
To be the best parents we can, we must be involved on a deeper level. Not only on their special days or occasions but EVERY DAY.
We must carve out time daily to spend some time with them. Maybe this isn’t realistic for everyone and everyday, but it should be a priority to make it as often as possible. Whether it be a 15 minute one on one talk or a quick game of catch, make the time.
2. Listen to them: their voice matters.
Sometimes we shrug things kids say as kid talk, or as too much rambling and completely tune them out hoping for the moment that there is just…..SILENCE!
Hey…sometimes this is definitely the case!!
Sure, there are times we have to explain to them that the conversation has to be continued another time.
BUT…their voice matters. Listen to what they are telling you, even if you think it is nonsense. For young kids, they are verbalizing their developing brains to you and you can help guide their thoughts and help them express themselves. They will also feel heard and validated.
3. Teach them how to interact with people – teach them to be good people
At one point or another, your child will go on into the world on their own. The skills they learn being around their friends, schools, activities and at home will help shape their future interactions with the world.
Good parenting involves taking our kids out into the world.
Make sure they are watching when you interact with people, whether it be in the grocery store, restaurants, maybe even just hanging out with your adult friends. They are watching. Let them watch. Let them learn and KNOW THEY ARE WATCHING and act how you would want them to interact with others.
4. Show them the world – immerse them in different experiences
When I first moved the kids out of New York City, I was a bit worried. I grew up there and I knew the benefits it gave me in terms of being immersed in so many different cultures and ways of life.
I soon realized it is not really where kids are raised but what you expose them to.
Besides getting them involved in extracurricular activities, their young minds should be exposed to the world around them with activites like:
- Museums
- Art exhibitions
- TRAVEL
- Concerts
- Different dining experiences
Far travel may not be feasible for everyone, but even a drive to a different state can open their minds to the different possibilities that exist in this world.
Trips to a local museum or a nearby city to explore work just as well too!
Besides expanding their minds, and introducing them to different cultures and other parts of the world, travel has been shown to have a positive impact on children’s mental and physical health and strengthen family relationships.
5. Provide for them, the best YOU can.
This is the most basic hallmark of good parenting. It is the foundation on which all good parents build the rest of the hallmarks on: providing for your children.
It’s ok if we can’t afford a big house, or even a house at all as long as we provide THE BEST WE CAN.
To provide the best we can, we have to be the best version of ourselves.
Go for that promotion. Improve yourself mentally and physically everyday. Save up for that trip or a better living situation. Just keep striving to improve yourself and your kid’s life financially. It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as we keep STRIVING.
6. Love them..tell them, show them.
Tell them daily you love them.
Look at them in their eyes, get their full attention and tell them you love them.
Show them your love through the way you take care of them.
This is especially true for fathers. There are so many great dads, but many do not partake in the “domestic” side of things when it comes to raising kids...the bath, the bed time, the feeding, the doctor’s appointments.
These situations and events build paternal and maternal internal bonds that strengthen your relationship with them on a deeper level.
7. Care about their health habits, their sleep, their eating.
Life get’s crazy.
Some mornings I am sure we can all find ourselves losing our wits trying to get ourselves and the kids ready and feed them a healthy breakfast!
It won’t always be possible, but pay attention to your child’s nutrition. Are they leaving for school every morning with a pop tart in hand? Hey, maybe one day a week it happens but for the most part make sure they are eating a good healthy breakfast. It doesn’t have to be complicated!
A couple of scrambled whole eggs (good fats/protein) – a bowl of whole grain cheerios (carbs) – maybe add a banana (nutrients) – DONE!
If your kids are younger make sure they are getting enough sleep. Most kids under 5 do not get enough sleep. Check out our KIDS NEED NAPS article on why sleep and naps in particular are so important especially for kids 5 and under.
8. Laugh and play with them
Show your kids the beauty in life. The fun in life, the enjoyment. The peculiarities in the moments that make life. Make them laugh, be silly with them, carve out time to play with them playing the games they want to play. Make jokes with them. Teach them to take a joke and be able to enjoy their surroundings and the world around them.
This will help them navigate their later years with positivity. It has been shown that kids with a good sense of humor have a higher self esteem and can better handle adversities in their childhood.
9. Develop yourself -physically and mentally
Many parents put their own life on the backburner when raising kids. While we don’t agree with many experts who believe a child should come second, we as parents have to do a better job at taking care of ourselves.
Take for example our main focus on this site: parenting and fitness. Being physically fit is not just about “looking good”.
You don’t have to spend 7 days a week in the gym or give up your favorite foods, its about balance.
It is just about just staying active and staying healthy.
Physical fitness also helps you improve your mental state. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good you are a better person to yourselves and others…especially your children.
Read up on our 6 Ways to Stay Fit For Parents for more tips on how to stay fit as a parent.
10. Keep your children safe
I think we can all agree most people around us are good people at their core level, but there are some that blend in with the crowd that are out to do harm.
There is no such thing as being paranoid with your children.
You have to let them explore and gain confidence on their own, but you must keep a watchful eye.
Sleepover at a young age? If you allow it, it should be with very specific and limited people.
At stores, in the streets, everywhere in public your young kids should be on your eyes at all time.
Too many times we have walked the streets of New York to see a 3 year old a block behind his dad, and all too often we have seen kids kidnapped this way.
Keep your children safe, be vigilant, trust a small amount of people with them especially during their younger years.
And those are our 10 Hallmarks of Good Parenting!
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