I remember when I first found out I was having a baby.
I am not sure what the feeling was.
I was definitely happy. It was surreal. But I was also unsure of what to expect. I felt like I wasn’t ready to be the person I had to be for this child, but I knew I had to be the best I could be.
Here is some off the bat words of advice for new parents: if you are a good person, don’t worry, you will be a good parent.
You are worried and looking for the best new parenting advice because you care, you want to be the best dad or mom you can be.
What we did here is come up with realistic and practical pieces of parenting advice for soon to be parents from experienced, real parents sharing what they would tell new parents today.
But before we get into it, we have to tell you guys a little secret.
Many people won’t agree with our secret, especially brand new parents but parents with older kids might understand what we mean.
The new born phase is one of the easiest.
Think about it. They need to do three things all monitored and assisted by you:
- Sleep
- Eat
- Poop
Most of the time when a baby is fussing, it is one of the three things above.
Sure there are other reasons, but once you control the above three. They are actually pretty chilled.
But let’s get into some realistic new parenting advice for soon to be parents.
Get as much sleep as you can
Probably one of the most overused pieces of new parenting advice but it’s because:
IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
The baby will be constantly needing your attention.
Hungry. Wet. Grumpy. Up in in the middle of the night. Tired. Sick. Diapers here. Diapers there. Diapers everywhere!
When you get a chance to sleep, TAKE IT!
You need rest to be your best self for you and your baby, and you can never have enough rest raising children, especially newborns so take the opportunity when it arises.
Research and decide on what bed time routine will work for your child and stick to it.
As they progress through the months and years do not give up on naps. Your children need naps and it is also a time for you to take a breather or get stuff done. But in the beginning…try not to go crazy over household chores…
When the baby sleeps…you sleep!!
Just love them!
Parenting can be complicated, but it’s complicated because we care.
We go back to the off the bat words of advice for new parents.
If you are a good person, you will be a good parent.
Why?
When we truly love someone or something, we show it through our actions. You will naturally be a caring and loving parent because that is who you are. So what are we saying here?
Make that your focus and remember that. Remember that everything that comes with being a new parent you will learn.
You will make mistakes and have triumphs but at the end of the day, your child will be happy because of the love you show through your actions. So let go of finding the “perfect parenting style” or “perfect sleep routine” and just try your best, everyday.
Enjoy the moment
When we were new parents, we always heard, as we are sure every new parent hears:
“Enjoy them, they grow up so fast!”
And boy do they do!
We look at our kids now and then look at pictures of them at just months old, and we realize how the years just literally go by… SO FAST.
It really is about ENJOYING THE MOMENT.
Try not to think ahead too much.
A little planning is obviously needed, but take the time to just be with them without worrying that your hair is a mess or the house hasn’t been cleaned.
The house will be cleaned.
Your hair will find its way back into it’s nest, but these precious years you will never get back.
Hug them.
Smell them.
Sing to them.
Read to them.
Take them out for walks and just appreciate that they are in your lives as hard as it gets.
When times get tough with a newborn (and you will have some tough times), just ask yourself:
would I trade this amount of work to not have them in my life?
As a good parent your answer will be: hell no.
And that alone should remind you: the reward of having my child in my life is 100% worth all this crying, fussing and poop in my face from explosive diarrhea!
Get them in a routine
Routines are important, not just for kids, but for newborns and babies as well.
The way they eat. Their bedtime routine. Their sleeping accomodations. Their BED TIME. Their feeding times. Their nap times.
Kids thrive on routines.
Getting them use to a routine as a newborn will reduce fussiness and help them learn what to expect..yes even as young as just months old.
Kids, infants included, are always learning.
A routine will help them acclimate to their enviroment, it will help them learn and engage because they learn to expect what is coming.
Now obviously, with new borns and infants we can’t have a rigid time schedule or routine. We have to tend to their needs, so ample flexibility in the schedule/routine is needed, but the point is to start establishing them early on.
Take the help when you can get it, but don’t trust everyone
Here is one that you won’t see on new parenting advice.
Take the help, to get some sleep, get some errands done or just to have time to relax on your own, BUT…be very selective on who you take your help from.
We have seen parents literally go on community facebook groups, asking strangers for babysitter recommendations for their 4 months old!
We understand not everyone has access to their parents, or grandparents for help but you are your child’s protectors.
Especially as newborns and infants, your main duty as a new parent is to provide and to protect that child.
Make sure whoever is helping is someone you can trust, or has been thoroughly vetted.
No one cares about your child and no one will protect your child like you do, so you have to have extremely high standards as to who gets to spend time alone with them.
If you have someone you can truly trust…take the help! It will help your sanity, and bring you back to your bundle of joy fresh and ready to take on another dirty diaper!
Accept that your life is going to change completely, but it’s worth it
Before having kids, I would scuff at parents complaining about their schedules being turned upside down “because of the kids”. Or not being to get stuff done or goals accomplished “because of the kids”.
Now as a father of two, I GET IT.
No single person can give you advice on how to raise a child, they don’t get it.
No, as much as we love dogs…they are not kids. STOP IT!
Realize you are entering the world of parenting and it’s not about you anymore. It is about that child and making sure they have everything they need to progress mentally, physically and emotionally.
Accept this, embrace it, but…
Take care of yourself
You cannot be the best for your child if you are not being good to yourself.
As a new parent, make sure you are still trying your best to get enough sleep, eat the right foods and fit in that workout no matter how busy you get as a parent.
That is the point of Parenting & Dumbbells. It is to help parents balance their own personal self care with being the best parents they can be.
In conclusion, the best new parenting advice for soon to be new parents can be summed up as follows:
- love them,
- accept and embrace the change,
- put them first
- take care of yourself
If you follow those four points, you can’t go wrong.
Your love for them will show through how you take care of them.
Your acceptance will help you deal with the hard moments. Putting them first will make sure they always have what they need to grow up healthy physically, emotionally and mentally. And taking care of yourself will assure you don’t burn out and can be your best self for them.
What advice would you give to new parents that has worked for you?